When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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