she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
