I love black thongs
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
