My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
