Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
