I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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