She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Randomize
