I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
