I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
worst night to have a conscience
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
