his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
