It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
FUCK WHALES
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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