Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
