hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Randomize
