So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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