is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I'm determined to sit on that face.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
