gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize