do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize