she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Damn victory sex feels great
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
