Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
