I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize