Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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