I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
