Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
