he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
