Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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