The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
