so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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