he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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