do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
