It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
