ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
