dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
