She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i now understand why vodka
Pants are for mortals
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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