everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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