Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
