How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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