Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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