the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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