So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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