her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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