I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
