She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
