when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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