He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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