I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
