the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
