My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
not ubering you a puppy
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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