just come out here and I will go home with you...
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
