Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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