I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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