No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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