Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
