just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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