I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
