batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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