She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
