I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
