Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
