My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I love how my cats smell like pot.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
