well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
