i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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