we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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