at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
