He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
