I faked an abortion last night.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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