Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
