im drinking this country out of the recession.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
